if u R ever in an argument use these insults and u will make the other person cry bc there R so good
- half eaten sandwich
- useless fungal infection
- literal turd burger
- Netflix® buffer
- 2003 fergie
- 5th president James Monroe
- half chewed pencil
- The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania
- absolute white crayon
- quiet meme thief
- TI-84 plus Silver Edition™ Calculator by Texas Instruments®
- diarrhea apocalypse
If you are reading this, you have survived your entire life up until this point.
You have survived traumas, heartbreak, devastation, the elements, different phases of life. And here you are.
You go, motherfucker. You’re awesome.
HOW DO PEOPLE FALL ASLEEP SO FAST I DON’T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO CREATE AND ACT OUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE LENGTH STORY IN MY HEAD AND THEN CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE BEFORE I EVEN FEEL TIRED AND THIS BITCH STARTS SNORING IN TWO MINUTES
a plus-side to being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas and i will not judge you because i will also be in my pajamas
WE ONLY USE LEASHES BECAUSE DOGS CANT HOLD HANDS
I want to scream at everyone who has put me down and made me second guess myself and who has gone behind my back and fuck you for all the negativity you’ve brought upon me fuck you